I told myself I won't be putting up my birthday list so early because then it would seem like the only thing I did with my time was remind people when I would turn 19 but anyway, in case people decide to buy me stuff or are wondering, I'll just put out my list because window shopping is a sad sad thing when you're without money.

1. Turnaround by Westlife (CD)
2. Face to Face by Westlife (CD)
3. Il Divo by Il Divo (CD)
4. Ancora by Il Divo (CD)

5. And now are you going to believe us: 25 years behind the scenes at CFC by John Ingledew (Book- $63)
6. Mourinho: Anatomy of a Winner by Patrick Barclay (Book -$47)
7. Jose Mourinho- Made in Portugal by Luis Lourenco (Book -$41)
8. X:Infinity Artbook (Book-$60 odd)

9. AC Milan Jacket (Guys one cos the black one is so much nicer than the white ladies one Size M- $85)

10. Accessories and lipgloss welcomed!

11. Flowers are always nice. I like roses. =)

12. To watch the Chelsea-Liverpool Community Shield on my birthday at 3 Monkey's Cafe or anywhere else with someone that isn't just me

Basically, I know most of the stuff is pretty ex, so let it be known that you do the smart thing and wait for the 20 percent KINO sale which is around er, the early part of August (single digit number dates like 6-8 I think that is opened to non-members as well) because then even the 60 odd book will cost 50 bucks. Buy the books from Kino, most come from the Sports Section.

If you think you can't pay the full price, then vouchers from Kino and Adidas are very much welcomed because I know it's insane to pay 85 bucks to buy me a jacket. Seriously. Just give me vouchers. But really the jacket is so so so so soft and nice and pretty and soft. (But vouchers from Kino haha maybe can give me before my birthday so I can take advantage of the 20 percent thing) But if you wanna go ahead and surprise me with paying the full cost, full steam ahead I say.

And I've got some of Il Divo's songs that I've downloaded which explains the slowness in getting the actual CD. Yes am a Westlife fan.

Please let me know what you're getting yeah. Thankies. Will repost this on chris-tine87.livejournal.com.

Jonathan Leong sings like an angel! (Even though I don't really watch Singapore Idol)

Lovely skies turn grey

Return of XiaoQiang the cockroach

Do you know how hard sleeping with a blanket over your face is? It's not like I had much choice because XiaoQiang has wings and can fly into your mouth at night! Anyway, the next night it was at the exact same spot I saw it at on my bed and I grabbed the handy newspaper's sports section and beat it to the floor, whacking it senseless and quite dead with Cristiano Ronaldo's face. I remember laughing very loudly because one of the bugger's legs was on Ronaldo's silver earring. But honestly I think Cristiano is very hot even though I don't really like him that much because of this Rooney thing.

I was feeling all depressed and out of sorts during the weekend. But then I went for church and cell and you couldn't feel depressed there! I must say I'm a very compassionate person by not strangling JoP because he and John Teh were teasing me about Chelsea and Mourinho before lunch.

JoP: "If you play Ballack and Lampard together then you can't play Maka!"
Me: "You can! He's always been a defensive midfielder!"
JoP: "Then your wingers play where? Especially if you're looking at playing with 2 strikers up front?"
Me: "Play in midfield la!"
JoP: "Your midfield got how many people? A team only got 11 players you know!"
Me: -ish foaming at mouth, spitting out words, speechless-
JoP: "See your dream team like 15 or 16 people"

And John sits there adding fuel to fire. Never never talk football with ManUnited (John) or Arsenal (JoP) fans like them. Actually you can but you know each person will support their particular team. Looking for instant success my foot! (But hmm, wanting to buy Roberto Carlos...)

Where was Mr Teh Cher Hao at that moment? Complain to him during lunch and he says the same thing as me.

TCH: "Maka play behind them la!"

Where was Miss Clara Woon at that moment? Trying to distance herself with her ACMilan first love. No help there either.

Lala: "Nothing nothing, eh why you come and stand here with me"

I would write about the two toots talking about Mourinho's haircut but I think I might spit blood.

JoP: "You defend him for what? It's not like he even knows you!"

Mr Prakash, you're a wonderful Cell Leader, but sheesh.

Oh well it was good for laughs. And we got to watch the CherHao-Clara show which was pretty funny. And JoP asked me to help out in the end of year Youth camp which made me feel very happy and responsible.

Okay what else. Ish. Birthday coming up. Yesyes list. Will put up in August. Too early as of yet.

She smiles but it doesn't quite reach the eyes.

The only way I could ever have a clean floor was to see a cockroach run into my room and disappear near my bed. Instant clean up. I titled my mission "Search and Destroy" but unfortunately failed to hunt down that bugger and kill it. What I did unearth however was a pandora's box of memories. Maybe some weren't THAT awful.

Stuff like my Saiyuki craze, YY's bouncy bouncy and her weird looking prawns, Sonya's wit ("Coffee awakens the senses but sex jolts your entire system") and lots of Guidey stuff. One thing about Guides that I know I'll treasure was Mynah. Those people, especially my leaders, watched me grow up, literally and figuratively. They kept on pushing me right from the beginning, to aim high and yet to know my limits, to be proud and yet humble. Some of them remain very real to me while others failed to look beyond that Secondary 1 Guide that was ignorant.

I just felt very nostalgic because I know my piano lesson tomorrow will be the last one I have with my teacher, unless I fail my Grade 8 which is very possible. My teacher of 9 years and 6 grades. (Because I took exams every year except when I had my PSLE, Os and As) I know I've complained about her, but she bothered to get to know me, she taught me to relax my fingers and to really understand music and appreciate it. She does want me to teach some of her kids though as she's opening a music agency which reminds me that people like Hwee, Yux and JiaYing and YY if you want to teach you let me know because she's looking for more instructors.

You remember because it hurts, you hurt because you remember.

Some memories are best left alone.
Some things disappoint you because the way you remembered them isn't the way things are like at present.

Music, when soft voices die,
Vibrates in the memory -
Odours, when sweet violets sicken,
Live within the sense they quicken.

Rose leaves, when the rose is dead,
Are heaped for the beloved's bed;
And so thy thoughts, when thou art gone,
Love itself shall slumber on.

-Percy Bysshe Shelley

How apt.
It isn't a matter of being deserving, because life is such that you don't always get what you deserve.

Ever so quickly do the days past that finally finally the day of reckoning arrives. There's a sense of disquiet and hesitation, the realization of the need for relaxation and calmness but there appears to be none that is forthcoming. At times I'm a bundle of nerves, tensed and ready to snap because my mind wanders to how much strength I need in order to play the dynamics correctly, what with different pianos being used for practice and the exam itself and how when faced with the examiner my mind would be just one big blank. But at the same time I cannot wait for it to be over, because I do need a break, 2 glorious weeks of nothingness before that ugh-ness of school and studying comes back to haunt.

I always worry about piano exams, everyone knows my history with them is far from friendly. The last exam saw failure in Aural and Sight-reading. The sight-reading is not new but while you try to break free from the past results, I still fear. Too much practice and I'll probably snap. I guess I should just face tomorrow with the confidence that I AM ready. What I know will be there, what I don't know, oh well. Any more panic attacks and the mood and tone will be lost.

The OC is back with Season 3. Wonderful wonderful. I'm such a serial addict. Desperate Housewives, Grey's Anatomy, Scrubs, CSI, Criminal Minds, The OC, Project Runway, Lost, Smallville, Charmed. On the average, I spend 2 hours a day on the box. But then again it probably doesn't matter because my brain effectively shuts down at 10 which is when all these shows start (except for Fridays but then Fridays herald the beginning of the weekend) Others spend their time on the computer so it all evens itself out.

Part of me wishes the transfer market for football would just close. Enough is enough. I'm frustrated by reports that Chelsea might sell Damien Duff to Spurs which is insane because when Duffer is paired with Robben as wingers, it's poetry in motion. I've already shed tears of Gudjohnson leaving for Barcelona after 6 years at Chelsea. Del Horno looks set to leave so Chelsea is lacking in defence for which they've always been known to be strong at. The World Cup has let to Chelsea having lost key players because of the different arrival times they are slated to return to training. In 3 weeks they play Liverpool for the Community Shield, I've had enough of defeats by Pool in other competitions that isn't the Premiership.

Roberto Carlos is like old. Why pay so much for a 33 year old? Apparently he's really really great which is true but long term wise he doesn't look set to stay for long. And preparing an offer for Kaka for 70 Million Euros is nuts! I would love to see the kakasheva team back together but Kaka is an attacking midfielder and 70 Million is JUST NUTS. Abramovich if you have too much money GIVE IT TO ME. Ha but okay I still love you anyway. All these disturbing reports about who buys who sells who whatever is driving me crazy. Way to go Mourinho for that vote of confidence in the new season by predicting a slow start to it and saying you won't have the full squad strength during the opening match and community shield which is true I know but still. *Grumbles grumbles* But I still love Chelsea so what to do what to do.

And you know what's weirder? It's that recently I've had people come up to me that I know, friends of course, that sing my praises. Saying I'm sweet, I'm generous, I'm really nice, I'm hardworking, I'm smart (which is not really true) and honestly the admiration shown is a great boost to my ego but I'm sometimes left wondering where they got my good impression from. People say I'm matured in my thinking but my actions can be so immatured sometimes as well. But nevermind, just thanks for thinking I'm such a nice person. =) (And if you disagree and think that those friends are whacked kindly keep your opinions to yourself haha)

The weather is looking really nice and inviting for a long afternoon nap which I intend to take and then wake up to play Scarlatti Mozart Albeniz.

I hate replies of those who seem to possess the "whatever lor" attitude in their answers. An invite, a long awaited appointment turns to disappointment and annoyance with the "whatever-so be it" response. The lack of appreciation on the part of the other party is enough for any excitement to wilt away.

You can't imagine how much a phone call, an SMS of encouragement or even just one to say you've been missed means to me.

The Italian football scandal's verdict has been reached. Jueventus, Florentina and Lazio have been dropped to Serie B with different respective point deductions while ACMilan remains in Serie A with a 15 point deduction. And so while reports of vultures swooping in to grab at the remains are many, Chelsea, with their no nonsense manager, will buy players to fit the team and not just for marketability sake alone (as written in the Straits Times). Besides all I want is a left-back. Watching Arjen Robben play and his footwork, the balance is so delicate that the slightest touch from another player causes him to fall and thus people see him as being a diver. Yet his speed of play being fast makes it unavoidable. So perhaps the same understanding should be accorded to Cristiano Ronaldo, whose footwork mimics that of Robben but he undoubtedly falls much more easily to ground than Robben.

I have been throwing temper tantrums lately. I cannot stand it when my family writes them off as "she's under too much stress from piano" as if they can even begin to comtemplate musical appreciation or even how annoying repeating 4 stupid bars over and over can be. They don't try to understand and my piano practicing has already been said to be "background music". It's so frustrating when they point fingers at how my late night television viewing has affected THEM so that they cannot wake up in the morning. Well, you can't hear the sound because it's soft and you have your doors closed, you don't have to tuck me into bed, so I affect you how? I think having parents who care about what you do "as long as you're living under my roof" is good but sometimes I doubt it'll hurt if they give me more freedom to perhaps stay out a wee bit later without having to ask for constant permission (I mean it's not like you're going to fetch me home so I doubt leaving the door unlock for me at night is such a hard thing to do?)

I bet even after I turn 21 I still have to abide by their rules as long as I'm "living under their roof". I know screaming rarely solves matters but it definitely makes me feel better. So what if I indulge in a little immaturity at times- it's hardly cause for hypocritical natterings if that feeling to do so was caused by immatured understanding in the first place, ie not by me.

And you only have permission to call me Chrissy if I say so or if you can carry it off- that is if you want to in the first place. You'll know if you're allowed- ie Clara. Most people don't call me that because sometimes its rather spine chilling duncha think? But lala makes it sound rather sweet.

you see it was only recently that I realised you lied to me

Doesn't this make you want to go "Awww" because Kaka and Caroline are so sweet together? (Another part of me says "It should be me" Haha)










My tagboard is being spammed by weird poker game things to which I only hope stop so I don't have to go to the tagboard website and delete them.

Maple is down for a new patch when I suddenly have the urge to whack some monsters.

Klinsmann the fantastic coach of Germany who incidentally happens to be the best looking one out there amongst the lot has decided to resign. WHY.

Tired and worn out and sick of unfulfilled promises. Am I to go back to that which I've relegated to the past tense only to find myself sinking deeper? The week's been clogged up with piano and irritability in the face of all that immaturity around me. We talk, think and worry about the most insignificant of things that may not even matter much because it's better than thinking of the big decisions? Gives us some semblance of peace in knowing that all's right in your life that allows for such contemplation?

Vpost is confusing me. This whole delievery charge thing is confusing. Someone should enlighten me about shipping charges because I want to do online shopping for stuff that sadly doesn't get shipped to Singapore.

I saw a gorgeous white jacket in Hugo Boss. I didn't want to see the price.

This is all completely and utterly random but perhaps it's just like how I feel.

And Italy wins the World Cup instead of France. The most notable incident was Zidane head butting Materazzi. Oh Zidane you were to me the heart of the French team and for your swansong you decide to get red-carded? Maybe you were provoked but I would expect more matured behaviour from you. Am disappointed. The weird thing was after the penalty shoot out I waited a few minutes before switching off the TV, not bothering to watch the presentation of the World Cup, this solid gold thing that means the world to alot of people. Yet I continued to watch during the 3rd place presentation during the Germany-Portugal match. Which really tells me that after all the teams I supported went out I really have no interest. I watched the game yes for the skills but after that...

"He's obviously lost his marbles."BBC pundit Alan Shearer on the moment of madness from Zinedine Zidane in the World Cup final.

"The warrior's last act of madness."How Italy's Corriere della Sera newspaper described the moment when ZZ blew his top.

I know it's still almost a month to my birthday but I have to say it. My birthday falls on the same day that Chelsea play Liverpool for the Community Shield so it would be a really great present for me to watch the game LIVE. (Actually since Uni has started maybe Sundays won't be good days for me anymore because school tomorrow) Anyone know if we have to go for every single lecture printed in the timetable (unless you're thinking of intentionally ponning) or do they have double lectures? Because if not I have 6 hours per week of Singapore Legal System???? -faints-

-photo courtesy of bbc.com (small but we can play the see if you can spot your favourite Germany players game!)

So while I wasn't that interested in the World Cup anymore, oh well, there was still the 3rd/4th placing to play for between Germany and Portugal. Oliver Kahn is a -gasp!- fantastic goalkeeper. He parried away all the shots with such determination to try to keep a cleansheet for his international swansong. No wonder my sister has loved him since 02. Unfortunately one slipped in during the dying moments and he really couldn't have stopped it. Schtwinstieger was the hero because his shots just curled past Ricardo whom I have immense respect for twice. Oh and it was his shot that created the own goal by Petit. It was a really really great game and I honestly wished that it was the finals but since it isn't I shall have to make do. I went back to bed feeling absolutely over the moon and the shot of Lehmann and Kahn standing together after being such bitter rivals over who ought to get in the Starting 11 was so sweet. Poor Ballack was out with a knee injury. For Euro 2008, I now have a definite team to support! (Oh plus England just for the sake of it)

So 3-1 to Germany to claim 3rd. Hooray. You know Cristiano Ronaldo is really quite a good player with his fancy footwork reminding me of Arjen Robben but really he dives so easily, so much more easily than Robben. And now he doesn't want to play for Manchester anymore and is looking for a move to Madrid.

Which reminds me: Kino has given me yet another reason to smile! (This sounds like a line from an ad) but they stock Chelsea's Offical Magazine which for the month of July carries an interview with Ballack and for August carries an interview with Sheva! It's the cheapest amongst the other Premiership club magazines and I think is the only one with a glossy cover which is like so so pretty! =) Am very very happy. And Kino's store wide 20 % sale regardless of membership is coming up soon (in August) so I can be even happier getting more Chelsea stuff.

About 10 more days to my piano exam. Boo. Suddenly having to get used to flipping pages on the official ABRSM book instead of using photocopied ones stuck in a file which are so much easier to flip is difficult! And my Aural is still quite sad. Frightening.

I'm running again. Whee, I can run very far now. I know that was totally random but how nice. Right? Because the more I run, the more calories I burn, the more food intake I can consume to replace those lost calories so when I have dessert I don't feel quite so guilty. I know that really isn't suppose to be the way but at least your metabolism rate rises.

Undone in the dying moments of extra time. Heartbroken and in mourning.
My World Cup 2006 is officially over.

Oh Germany Germany

I shall return to my Chelsea.

This has been quite tramatising for me. I sat through more than 120 minutes of football with clasped hands and prayerful stance in hopes that Germany beat Argentina. I blinked back tears while Germany looked for an equalizer. And the penalty shoot-out gave me even more reason to admire Germany. Did Germany deserve to win? It really depends, their goalkeeper being subbed, Messi not brought in, Riquelme subbed, these decisions changed things I believe. It doesn't matter now though because Germany's through and I believe they CAN win.

They better because I would hate to see Portugal lift the cup. I travelled with my dad to Orchid Country Club at 11pm to catch the match against England. Amidst the smoke filled air con room (which is like so what the) I watched quietly like I always do (I only go into my throes of "so cute so cute" after matches). There seemed to be murder on my mind. I salute England for going into Extra Time even with Rooney being red-carded and dammit why did Cristano Ronaldo have to go and stick his face in it was barely his fight and come on your own squadmate-why did Rooney have to react that way! Why did England still stick to 4-5-1-that's what happens when you fill a squad with midfielders! and why did Eriksson bring Walcott into the squad only to never play him. I watched the defence of Terry and Rio and felt so so proud. I watched Lamps and Gerrard (especially Lamps) with missed chances and penalties and my heart broke. Lamps, go and talk to Mourinho okay? Don't let it affect your next season at Chelsea. Before this, I liked Ronaldo, I liked Ricardo, but all I was thinking when Ronaldo stepped up to take the penalty was to grab a crowbar and beat his legs, I don't care how good looking you are.

Mourinho, my heart will be with Portugal when you coach them, but not before. And even then...

England, there were doubts that you could do it, because of my avid interest in EPL, I supported you. But honestly you better go find better strikers. Even if you had beaten Portugal, you're without Rooney, without Terry... Sigh.

With the Ukraine beaten by Italy, Germany remains the only team I support to the point of fanatical obsession left. It started with Ballack but the rest of the team weaved their way into my life.

John Teh was happily crowing about today at church because of his love affair with Cristano Ronaldo. JoP was happy because France beat Brasil 1-0 with Thierry Henry scoring the winning goal. Clara kept saying "Horn-Ray" because she was upset and in mourning. Clarence and Alpha did their bit in putting their 2 cents worth about Lamps missing the penalty and not scoring even one goal even with so many shots on goal-all the time knowing that the one thing that worried me was his form when he was back with Chelsea. JoP contributed by nattering on about Mourinho and his weird "Special One" thing to which I threatened not to come for Cell because of that.

I know there's more to life than football, more so because the World Cup was a bit hard for me because I was supporting Chelsea players and not really nations (UNTIL WOAH GERMANY STUNNED ME) so it was difficult to really pick one team but let me have the moments (at least until the urge to beat up Cristano on his pretty face has gone floating by)

"I truly believe English players are in love with their country and fight with such honour and pride. John Terry called me after the game against Ecuador and told me: "Boss you cannot imagine the honour I felt to play for my country with the captain’s armband (after Beckham was substituted), and because you helped me so much to arrive at this position I want to give you the shirt from the match." This was a great moment and emotion for him, but also for me, and that shirt will be in a special place in my home in Setubal.

However it would be a mistake to think Portugal does not have this emotion too. Because of our economic situation at home, many of us live abroad, away from our country, away from our families, away from what we love. This creates in us a special emotion, a special feeling about our country. Remember the Portuguese team is full of players with big hearts, that are built when we are far from what we love. England has to be very, very strong mentally if they want to beat a Portuguese team full of pride, full of desire, full of self belief.

...

These are three great players, still young people with potential to evolve into better players still. The issue then for England is that you need three players in attack, not playing too far from each other. They need to be in permanent spacial contact. You can play with three players up, but it can still look like the central man is isolated. The way to play is what the Italians call a “tridente” where the three players are in permanent contact, changing positions, one in the direction of the ball, one striker attacking the front post and a winger arriving at the far post. What makes the difference between this system looking very dangerous, or looking defensive, is the consequence of hard work and training routines. Were England working 442 and 433 at the same time to be ready to use one of them? A coach like Eriksson, with his experience, would be prepared for this."

-Mourinho on his view of Portugal VS England before the game. Wise man. The Portugese who coaches an English side.
http://www.chelseafc.com/article.asp?hlid=399855&m=7&y=2006&nav=news&sub=latest+news